It’s back! Kathryne, my bestest of bestests, has yet another installment of “Kathryne Says.”
You can read more about Kathryne and her crazy dating life on her blog. :)
So. You met him. He was nice. He was very polite. He maybe held the door open for you at Starbucks, or you worked with him once on set or something like that. He wasn’t too handsome or dashing. No, you’d remember that. You would have been intimidated if he had been too attractive. No, Soul Mate Guy was alright looking. He had a scruffy beard and maybe, in my case, fooled you upon the first meeting. But more on that later. He SEEMED nice enough. When he asked you out, you thought to yourself, “well, it HAS been awhile since I have been out with someone new. Let’s just give him a chance even though I am feeling rather ‘meh’ about this guy…”
You show up. 8pm. A diner. Seems harmless enough. You purposely told him you would drive yourself, instead of him picking you up because if you need to get the hell out of their fast, at least you won’t be at the mercy of his car. This was just my thinking anyhow. Call me paranoid and untrusting, but this IS Los Angeles…
Guest blogger Kathryne Easton is my bestest of bestests. She’s an east coact chica relocated to LA with more guy-related “don’t” insites than anyone – and I mean that in a good way :)
Kathryne Says: Don’t date the Difficult Guy
Difficult Guys are all around. It’s hard to lump them into one specific category and just simply call them “Difficult.” Difficult Guy also goes under the guise of Moody Guy, Brooding Guy, Mother Issues Guy & Fear of Abandonment Guy. And maybe a little bit of Controlling Guy as well. The spectrum is certainly large. And don’t worry- I’ll cover all the bases! Cuz if he’s crying in a corner, arguing with your friends & listening to Annie Lennox nonstop, I’ve probably dated him! I have girlfriends that will argue that every guy they’ve dated and subsequently broken up with has been “Difficult” in some way. This I won’t argue with – they’ve yet to prove me wrong. Come on fellas! What’s the problem?
Difficult Guy, I will tell you straight off the bat, was my Long Term Guy. Long Term as in 4 years, and 2 of those years I lived with him. The signs were there from the beginning, but, just like anything, if you tell yourself to brush it off, and accept it as “normal” behavior, you will. And you will suffer for it. You know you are dating the Difficult Guy when:
YOUR FRIENDS HATE HIM
You’re in love. Or you think you could be someday with this great guy you just started to see. He is sensitive to your needs and generally seems quite attentive. You’ve been dating for a few months now, and your friends start wondering where you’ve disappeared to. Once your only strongholds, you have let them fall by the wayside a little bit, in exchange for your new guy time. Well, this is now serious, and you two are officially a couple. Time for Difficult Guy to get to know your best friends, and welcome him to the group. (Of course, Difficult Guy is not Difficult Guy yet, he is still Perfect Guy at this moment) You’re sure now is the time for the big introduction. If it went anything like mine went, don’t wait around for another 3 years to see if he gets more friendly in social situations. He won’t!
Second installment of “Kathryne Says” series :) from guest blogger and my bestest of bestests: Kathryne. She will be contributing installments of a “Kathryne Says” series – all based on her own experiences.
I think I have spent the majority of my life wanting real romance. The kind you see in the movies. As young girls and adolescents we watched movies like Titanic or Sixteen Candles so of course this is something we strive for. I think that’s why, when we get it, it’s almost shocking. I am not talking candlelit dinners, or meaningful sex: those things are fantastic, but not old fashioned romance. I am talking those beautiful, spontaneous moments that just happen to arise when you least expect it. When I think about the most romantic moments of my life, the ones that will go down in the history books, almost all of them involve dancing of some kind. Now, most of you will say How original, your prom was romantic! but, actually, none of my 3 moments involved the prom. So there, prom queens! (I was 215 lbs at my prom with bad acne and no eyebrows. I blossomed well after high school into a size 6 with better fashion sense – the prom for me was, well, you can imagine… not the most magical night of my life…to say the least…)
Let me preface this post with: Get ready for some possibly cheesy moments! But come on, we all got ’em. I’m just sharing mine with you!
I chose 3 moments because it’s a nice, clean number. There are, of course other tiers- but these 3 moments would be my top-most tiers.
Moment One: Late Nights at the Lincoln Center
He was visiting me in NYC. He was the first guy I ever loved. During our “honeymoon phase,” a month into the relationship, he took me to Lincoln Center by the fountain. We liked to go there and just stare at how pretty it was. Sometimes there would be a string orchestra playing outside. On the coldest day of the year, very late at night, after looking at the fountain for some time, he just looked me in the eyes and threw his gloves off, took my hands and pulled my gloves off as well, and put his warm, sweaty hands in mine. He then put his hands around my face and told me he wanted to be with me forever, and that this was the happiest moment of his life so far. Then he kissed me. I know – very theatrical, but, in my 19 year-old-eyes, it was perfect. We walked home hand in hand and got cupcakes.
Yup. Kathryne dated the Drunk Guy...
Meet guest blogger and my bestest of bestests: Kathryne. She will be contributing installments of “Kathryne Says: Don’t Date the ____Guy” – all based on her own experiences.
Part 1: Don’t Date the Drunk Guy
We have all likely dated The Drunk Guy at some point in our young lives. Don’t be fooled, he also goes under the guise of “The Fun Guy” or “The Good Time Guy.” Whoever this “Guy” may be, you definitely dated him right after getting out of a long-term relationship.
When sober, Drunk Guy was a little non-responsive, a little aloof, and whoa – hey, going for another drink there, buddy?? At 11 in the morning? It’s OK cuz it’s Thursday? OK. Yeah man. New way of thinking. This is new, fun [insert your name here]. I don’t have rules! You can’t make ME conform! Freedom!
One morning I had a thought: I had been dating too many uptight, controlling, macho guys. Drunk (Smelly) Guy was none of those things. He was highly complimentary of my looks, and, in a boyish way, was kind of adorable with his gruff, unshaven appearance. Hmmm…could Drunk Guy be my new boyfriend? It started off rather lovely: no expectations, seeing each other when we wanted to. Looking back now I realize the only times we actually saw each other were after midnight after he’d been drinking all night with his buddies. In the back of my mind, I knew this was going nowhere – he is married to the bottle and the lifestyle that heavy drinking comes with. But sometimes, bad as it sounds, it’s nice to have a guy. Even if it is Drunk Guy. He is not the most attractive guy of the bunch, so when he finds a lady with style, he lets her know how amazing he thinks she is. That’s the hook that keeps you with it, because as the weeks (months?) roll along, you’re getting more tired of the babysitting, the alcohol induced comas and the way he forgets EVERYTHING after drinking all day…